3 Ways to Reframe Your Midlife Crisis
To minimize and mock the nuances of this transitional time by jeeringly labeling it a crisis is to deny ourselves an opportunity to deeper explore who we are now, and who we might still become.
We often hear the phrase “midlife crisis” but where did it come from, and why do we use it?
The term was originally coined by Elliott Jaques in 1965 to describe a period of life, typically between 40-60, where adults tend to reckon with their mortality and consider the accomplishments they’ve made so far.
In recent years, the phrase has come to be used with more derogatory connotations. It’s a way of poking fun at people who we consider to either be in denial about their age, and making supposedly reckless decisions, or anyone who decides to introduce change in their middle years.
There are midlife crisis stereotypes for both men and women. For men, it’s usually related to status and a desire to prove virility (think fast cars and younger women). For women, it’s often more emotional and tied up in self-confidence as it relates to our appearance (a desire to look younger and gain/maintain societal approval).
These stereotypes can be damaging as they overlook the fact that midlife can be a time of intense overwhelm as we experience multiple shifts and challenges.
In additional to physical changes, our personal relationships are likely entering new territory as we navigate growing children (or the absence of them), aging parents, and sometimes, differences in values within our friendships. We’re (re)considering our roles within society and how they impact our identity.
Sometimes midlife comes with a sense of remorse that we may have followed a particular path in life because we thought it was the right thing to do, and perhaps that path hasn’t brought us the fulfillment that we hoped for.
Sometimes there’s feelings of envy or shame as we compare our success, according to societal standards, with the accomplishments of other people.
And sometimes, especially for women, we struggle with aging visibly because an anti-aging culture has told us, on-repeat for decades, that our appearance is directly linked to our worth.
To minimize and mock the nuances of this transitional time by jeeringly labeling it a crisis is to deny ourselves an opportunity to deeper explore who we are now, and who we might still become. When we fixate on the label of “crisis”, we’re less likely to stay open to the possibility that the unfolding chapter in front of us might offer.
Let’s take a closer look at some of the challenges midlife can bring and how we can reframe them in order to feel as though we’re reclaiming our power, rather than having it stripped away.
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