From Madonna to Sarah Jessica Parker, very few women emerge unscathed from the court of public opinion when it comes to our appearance. There’s no truly safe space or route.
As I mentioned last week, the less I look in the mirror the better I feel about myself. We’ve become so entranced by perceptions of our reflections (selfie culture) that we’ve forgotten how to experience things unselfconsciously.
I really love that you said "we’ve forgotten how to experience things unselfconsciously." That's really it. We're too consumed with how we look/how we're perceived. It's impacting our natural curiosity for life.
I haven't had work done and worry about my neck... I really don't have any answers except I try to focus on my hair and clothes. Hairstyles and clothes that I feel alive in. By this age most of us know what works and what doesn't. Focusing on these things, rather than the wrinkles etc., has helped me to feel more confident with my appearance. Watching the social media I consume, too.
Yes! What makes us feel alive is such an important thing to pay attention to. And who we follow/what we consume on social media is a big influence in how we feel. Thanks for sharing this.
This is such a great piece! I have not had work done, but I know friends who have, including friends who regularly partake in Botox, who are even younger than I am. What's funny is that as I approach my 50th birthday this summer, I have been shopping for a special dress to wear out to dinner, and I am, at once, worried both about appearing too young and trying too hard. Heck, I don't want to look 50, but I don't want to appear to be wearing something more suited to a 25 year old either! Why is it such a game? Why can't I just dress in what I'm comfortable in without worrying what other people will think, how other people will judge me?
Right?! The sheer energy that goes into these decisions. We're so conditioned out of what we actually like/enjoy/desire and instead we constantly focus on how we'll be perceived. It's exhausting! And also (as I sometimes ask myself) what does "trying too hard" even mean, and why do we fear looking as though we have?! Do men worry about this? I want you to have an amazing birthday celebration and feel a million dollars, no matter what you're wearing!
Great article! At 56 I struggle with this. I am in the you look good for your age category now.
I think what makes women especially woman over 40 and beyond so beautiful is the inner confidence and wisdom they have. It is something no 20 year-old can compete with
Thank you, Jane! Ahh, that strange back-handed compliment of "you look good for your age." Can we just banish that phrase forever?! Absolutely agree re our inner knowing. It's something I really notice and appreciate in other women. We really do acquire gifts as we age.
Agree! I did the same 5 minutes ago haha when I was in my 20s. I thought I was giving them a complement. I was, I was in awe of how classy they were and I hoped to have an ounce of that when I aged.
As I mentioned last week, the less I look in the mirror the better I feel about myself. We’ve become so entranced by perceptions of our reflections (selfie culture) that we’ve forgotten how to experience things unselfconsciously.
I really love that you said "we’ve forgotten how to experience things unselfconsciously." That's really it. We're too consumed with how we look/how we're perceived. It's impacting our natural curiosity for life.
I haven't had work done and worry about my neck... I really don't have any answers except I try to focus on my hair and clothes. Hairstyles and clothes that I feel alive in. By this age most of us know what works and what doesn't. Focusing on these things, rather than the wrinkles etc., has helped me to feel more confident with my appearance. Watching the social media I consume, too.
Yes! What makes us feel alive is such an important thing to pay attention to. And who we follow/what we consume on social media is a big influence in how we feel. Thanks for sharing this.
This is such a great piece! I have not had work done, but I know friends who have, including friends who regularly partake in Botox, who are even younger than I am. What's funny is that as I approach my 50th birthday this summer, I have been shopping for a special dress to wear out to dinner, and I am, at once, worried both about appearing too young and trying too hard. Heck, I don't want to look 50, but I don't want to appear to be wearing something more suited to a 25 year old either! Why is it such a game? Why can't I just dress in what I'm comfortable in without worrying what other people will think, how other people will judge me?
Right?! The sheer energy that goes into these decisions. We're so conditioned out of what we actually like/enjoy/desire and instead we constantly focus on how we'll be perceived. It's exhausting! And also (as I sometimes ask myself) what does "trying too hard" even mean, and why do we fear looking as though we have?! Do men worry about this? I want you to have an amazing birthday celebration and feel a million dollars, no matter what you're wearing!
Great article! At 56 I struggle with this. I am in the you look good for your age category now.
I think what makes women especially woman over 40 and beyond so beautiful is the inner confidence and wisdom they have. It is something no 20 year-old can compete with
Thank you, Jane! Ahh, that strange back-handed compliment of "you look good for your age." Can we just banish that phrase forever?! Absolutely agree re our inner knowing. It's something I really notice and appreciate in other women. We really do acquire gifts as we age.
I did gave someone recently say. You look good at any age! I wasn't used to that compliment
Agree! I did the same 5 minutes ago haha when I was in my 20s. I thought I was giving them a complement. I was, I was in awe of how classy they were and I hoped to have an ounce of that when I aged.