Reality Biting At Our Heels: The Year of 50

I thought it would be strange to stay in Pop’s flat when he’s not in it. But there are pieces of him everywhere. His books. His music. His photos.

A Woman in the World is a photographic diary exploring aging, identity, perimenopause and the stories beneath the stories.

May 9th

We ate breakfast in the kitchen, laughing at some of Pop’s antics from the day before. The next minute I was in tears and so was Leon, the harsh reality of what we’re dealing with biting at our heels.

We spent a chunk of time in the morning on the phone to Virgin Atlantic trying to change Leon’s previously scheduled return flight and book a return flight for me. It was a stressful process involving two long calls, the news that a one way flight for me would be £2,200, and we wouldn’t be able to get on the same flight.

Eventually, we were able to reach a resolution that meant me booking a return flight from London to JFK instead of one way. It brought the price down considerably, although choosing a return date felt impossible since we have no real idea of what the coming weeks will bring.

I wasn’t sure that we’d even be returning to NY at this point, but the thought of seeing Pop decline in real time is more than Leon can bear. It’s too soon after his mom. I don’t know how much more he can take. We plan to stay another week, knowing that next week’s goodbye might be the very last time we say it.

We spent time at the hospital, and Leon had yet another frustrating and lengthy call to the bank trying to sort out Pop’s accounts. It was over an hour and a half and it’s still not resolved.

In the early evening we went to Battersea Power Station, the once thought of eyesore that has now been transformed into an entertainment venue with shopping, restaurants and outside space. I had a ginger chicken udon at Wagamama’s, my go-to for many years when I’d meet my friends for a mid-week catch up. It was as good as I remembered.

May 10th

We were woken in the night by some kind of screeching outside. I think it might have been foxes. I didn’t really have a solid sleep after that.

We got ready and took the 47 bus to Catford to visit my parents. My mum laid out a little buffet for Leon and I and we caught them up on what’s been happening with Clarence over the past few days. It all feels like a bit of a blur right now. It still seems surreal that we are here.