I have a complicated - estranged at the moment - relationship with my own mother. But thankfully so far I've been able to have a good relationship with my own children. And also with my father. Relationships are messy and not always postcard worthy. Thank you so much for sharing this. XOXOX
Ahh, they can be so messy. Such a delicate dance of trying to honor our own needs while accepting our parent's limitations and humanness too. These dedicated days can be triggering for so many of us. I'm glad you have such good relationships with your own children xoxo
Thank you for these thoughts, Skylar, they resonate with me - especially the part about believing if I tried hard enough, the relationship would be better. Accepting what is has been a better path, though not a straight one.
I'm glad this resonated, Mary. I understand so well what you mean about the path not being a straight one. Many twists and turns and challenges. I hope you're able to go gently with yourself. I'm trying too. Sending love ❤️
Ahhh, the Mother Wound. My relationship with my mother has been the crux of alllll the therapy I have done for the last 35 years - AND I’M ONLY 50!!!
Doing EMDR over the past four months has been absolutely life changing with respect to my relationship with her. She did the best she could but that doesn’t mean she didn’t inflict a lot of pain and misery. She stopped speaking to me in October and I finally broke the cycle of me apologizing for something that I was not responsible for in March. I did it because it was on my terms not because I was brow beat into in by my dad. And I didn’t apologize. Huge move forward for me. EMDR really has been amazing.
Love to you as you navigate your relationship. I talk to Teen Kris a lot and reparenting her and giving her unconditional love has made a big difference in my self perception and feelings of worthiness. I am nearing the acceptance point that nothing that I ever do or say will prompt my mom to love me in the ways I needed and still need. It’s begrudging acceptance at the moment, but I’m getting there.
Also, my relationship with her is 10000% why I never wanted to have kids. And I’m not sad or sorry about that.
Wow, Kris. That's fascinating about EMDR. That keeps coming up for me and I'm curious to explore more. I love that you've had such a powerful experience with it. I'm so happy for you. This sh*t is not easy! I'm totally with you on reparenting. My conversations with younger me have been very healing. Acceptance certainly isn't easy at times, but acknowledging that we simply can't make people behave how we might want them to feels easier (and more loving to ourselves) than repeating the same old patterns. Thank you for sharing so honestly here. Always grateful for you.
I have a complicated - estranged at the moment - relationship with my own mother. But thankfully so far I've been able to have a good relationship with my own children. And also with my father. Relationships are messy and not always postcard worthy. Thank you so much for sharing this. XOXOX
Ahh, they can be so messy. Such a delicate dance of trying to honor our own needs while accepting our parent's limitations and humanness too. These dedicated days can be triggering for so many of us. I'm glad you have such good relationships with your own children xoxo
Me too and I don’t take it for granted. 💕💕💕💕💕
❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for these thoughts, Skylar, they resonate with me - especially the part about believing if I tried hard enough, the relationship would be better. Accepting what is has been a better path, though not a straight one.
I'm glad this resonated, Mary. I understand so well what you mean about the path not being a straight one. Many twists and turns and challenges. I hope you're able to go gently with yourself. I'm trying too. Sending love ❤️
Ahhh, the Mother Wound. My relationship with my mother has been the crux of alllll the therapy I have done for the last 35 years - AND I’M ONLY 50!!!
Doing EMDR over the past four months has been absolutely life changing with respect to my relationship with her. She did the best she could but that doesn’t mean she didn’t inflict a lot of pain and misery. She stopped speaking to me in October and I finally broke the cycle of me apologizing for something that I was not responsible for in March. I did it because it was on my terms not because I was brow beat into in by my dad. And I didn’t apologize. Huge move forward for me. EMDR really has been amazing.
Love to you as you navigate your relationship. I talk to Teen Kris a lot and reparenting her and giving her unconditional love has made a big difference in my self perception and feelings of worthiness. I am nearing the acceptance point that nothing that I ever do or say will prompt my mom to love me in the ways I needed and still need. It’s begrudging acceptance at the moment, but I’m getting there.
Also, my relationship with her is 10000% why I never wanted to have kids. And I’m not sad or sorry about that.
Wow, Kris. That's fascinating about EMDR. That keeps coming up for me and I'm curious to explore more. I love that you've had such a powerful experience with it. I'm so happy for you. This sh*t is not easy! I'm totally with you on reparenting. My conversations with younger me have been very healing. Acceptance certainly isn't easy at times, but acknowledging that we simply can't make people behave how we might want them to feels easier (and more loving to ourselves) than repeating the same old patterns. Thank you for sharing so honestly here. Always grateful for you.