Filters feed into the concept that we’re more attractive when we’ve made modifications to how we look. They’re a fantasy gateway to the reality we hope to have.
After signing up to The Unpublishable, I am getting more and more reflective about this.
1. I am also a photographer, and none of my photos on my website are retouched in any way other than cropping. My philosophy on photography is that you either get the shot or you don’t. I don’t believe in post production tweaks. (Pop by if you’re interested! www.KMJphotography.com )
2. I started growing in my silvers in 2021. I was absolutely obsessed with my hair color as the bright purpley red that I had for a few years was growing out. I took some pictures and posted them on IG. My natural hair color plus the grays intrigued me. I have colored my hair in one way or another since I was about 14, getting bleached highlights waaaaay back in 1988. When I couldn’t take the line of demarcation anymore, I got a pixie cut and that was that.
3. A month or so ago, I went to a “spa” and had Ultherapy done on my lower face and neck. It. Was. Painful. Essentially, it kills the collagen in your face so that it will grow back. Circling back, the whole piece on injuring ourselves to look better on The Unpub really made me reflect on that. I would not do it again - my cheeks are still occasionally sore. But I felt my jaws getting jowly and my chinneck has always been an issue for me. Aside from that, when I was 29, I had a nose job, and I have never regretted that for one second. I have no plans to do any sort of injectables ever. But, I am planning to have a major breast reduction after my graduation from grad school in May. These 36J’s are just overwhelming. I can’t wait to wear “normal” bras at some point in the future!
So, all of that is to say, I think it’s healthy to be reflective about what we do and why we do it. I’m totally okay with my wrinkles and my silver hairs, but I’m not okay with a sagging face and neck. We contain multitudes!! Peri is actively kicking my ass, and HRT is still in need of adjustment. So, we do the best we can, and when we decide to do differently, we do.
This is so thought-provoking and why I also love this writer Jody Day who can be found at https://www.instagram.com/apprenticecrone/ You probably know her, but she features all these wonderful, unfiltered portraits ands selfies of marvelously lined and aged-spotted women's faces... and they remind you how beautiful women are at every stage and age.
I love your question: “Is this making me feel more connected, or disconnected, to who I really am?” and I will keep asking myself when I want to look a certain way, or want to wear different clothes ...well basically in everything i do!!! Thank you! x
I love the question about connection or disconnection. That feels like the root of the issue. This is a topic frequently on my mind. I am gradually going grey having never dyed my hair and try to support my ageing skin with natural products but I have to admit I dislike the face I see in the mirror some days when I notice the sagging skin, drooping eyelids and loss of vibrance. Even a bit of blusher gives me a healthy glow and makes my eyes sparkle but so does a brisk walk outside which is better for my whole body. Definitely lots to ponder!
Such an interesting post, Skylar. What is it that makes us feel beautiful? For most of my life, I've been a minimalist about my hair and makeup, perhaps because I like being low maintenance. And as long as I can remember, I have not liked seeing myself in most pictures; isn't that interesting? When I started my Instagram account to share my nature photos, I vowed the only alterations I would do is some cropping--NO filters. So the same is true for the rare pics of me--never filtered. But I still struggle when it comes to my self-image, and aging hasn't made it easier: extra pounds, wrinkles, scars....I'm trying to figure this aging gracefully thing. Your words help. Thank you.
After signing up to The Unpublishable, I am getting more and more reflective about this.
1. I am also a photographer, and none of my photos on my website are retouched in any way other than cropping. My philosophy on photography is that you either get the shot or you don’t. I don’t believe in post production tweaks. (Pop by if you’re interested! www.KMJphotography.com )
2. I started growing in my silvers in 2021. I was absolutely obsessed with my hair color as the bright purpley red that I had for a few years was growing out. I took some pictures and posted them on IG. My natural hair color plus the grays intrigued me. I have colored my hair in one way or another since I was about 14, getting bleached highlights waaaaay back in 1988. When I couldn’t take the line of demarcation anymore, I got a pixie cut and that was that.
3. A month or so ago, I went to a “spa” and had Ultherapy done on my lower face and neck. It. Was. Painful. Essentially, it kills the collagen in your face so that it will grow back. Circling back, the whole piece on injuring ourselves to look better on The Unpub really made me reflect on that. I would not do it again - my cheeks are still occasionally sore. But I felt my jaws getting jowly and my chinneck has always been an issue for me. Aside from that, when I was 29, I had a nose job, and I have never regretted that for one second. I have no plans to do any sort of injectables ever. But, I am planning to have a major breast reduction after my graduation from grad school in May. These 36J’s are just overwhelming. I can’t wait to wear “normal” bras at some point in the future!
So, all of that is to say, I think it’s healthy to be reflective about what we do and why we do it. I’m totally okay with my wrinkles and my silver hairs, but I’m not okay with a sagging face and neck. We contain multitudes!! Peri is actively kicking my ass, and HRT is still in need of adjustment. So, we do the best we can, and when we decide to do differently, we do.
This is so thought-provoking and why I also love this writer Jody Day who can be found at https://www.instagram.com/apprenticecrone/ You probably know her, but she features all these wonderful, unfiltered portraits ands selfies of marvelously lined and aged-spotted women's faces... and they remind you how beautiful women are at every stage and age.
I love your question: “Is this making me feel more connected, or disconnected, to who I really am?” and I will keep asking myself when I want to look a certain way, or want to wear different clothes ...well basically in everything i do!!! Thank you! x
I love the question about connection or disconnection. That feels like the root of the issue. This is a topic frequently on my mind. I am gradually going grey having never dyed my hair and try to support my ageing skin with natural products but I have to admit I dislike the face I see in the mirror some days when I notice the sagging skin, drooping eyelids and loss of vibrance. Even a bit of blusher gives me a healthy glow and makes my eyes sparkle but so does a brisk walk outside which is better for my whole body. Definitely lots to ponder!
Such an interesting post, Skylar. What is it that makes us feel beautiful? For most of my life, I've been a minimalist about my hair and makeup, perhaps because I like being low maintenance. And as long as I can remember, I have not liked seeing myself in most pictures; isn't that interesting? When I started my Instagram account to share my nature photos, I vowed the only alterations I would do is some cropping--NO filters. So the same is true for the rare pics of me--never filtered. But I still struggle when it comes to my self-image, and aging hasn't made it easier: extra pounds, wrinkles, scars....I'm trying to figure this aging gracefully thing. Your words help. Thank you.