I love this Skylar! It really gave me so much to think about and get curious about, and you put into words some of what I am feeling myself. I am starting a house hunt very soon and it's the closest I have ever been to finally getting my own home, but I feel scared and anxious. What you say about struggle feeling familiar is so insightful and really interesting. Struggle, especially financial struggle, has been such a huge part of my identity since childhood. It is really hard to release that. I am so happy for you and Leon about your home purchase - congratulations! I look forward to hearing more!
What a wonderful podcast, Skylar! Congratulations on buying your house! So excited for you! However, I know exactly what you mean about not feeling like you thought you would at this time -- I've been there, too. Maybe not exactly in connection with buying a home, but in connection with other things. "Deferring our joy." Yes. I've done that. I'll be happy when...and the "when" doesn't seem to ever come. Or it comes, and I feel let down or not as joyful as I thought I would. Part of my shopping problem is that I buy for my future self, not the self I am currently. I buy things for this person that doesn't exist yet, but might in the future, the future I imagine. For instance, I buy tons of craft projects, even though right now, I have no time for them, thinking that future me will have time for them and future me is a creative person. And, wow! The age thing is so spot on! Especially in connection with children -- I thought that by the time I had a child, I would have things figured out. No way! He's smarter than me at 13! At 48, I am still figuring it out! (Then, again, I remember being smarter than my mother at 12, too, but I haven't been that smart since...LOL.). Yes, trust the timing of your life. And know that you don't have to rush. "No feeling is final." Such goodness there! It's YOUR home now. Congratulations!
I related so much to this... you've articulated so beautifully the "fallacy of arrival" that trips so many of us up when we're going through these enormous life transitions. Buying our first house and moving upstate from NYC made me so anxious... if I could have only let go of my perfectionism and fear and just marveled that we were even able to make it happen at all!! 😂 Instead, I was awash with anxiety about this new life... My incessant decorating and wallpaper stripping took on this almost aggressive tone... Lol. I had worked for Martha Stewart... Good God, I was such a basket case. Lesson learned. I hope you can stay curious and comfortable with the topsy turviness of things and enjoy every second of inhabiting at your new home, even if it comes with a few unexpected things, as most homes do, along the way. xo
I love this Skylar! It really gave me so much to think about and get curious about, and you put into words some of what I am feeling myself. I am starting a house hunt very soon and it's the closest I have ever been to finally getting my own home, but I feel scared and anxious. What you say about struggle feeling familiar is so insightful and really interesting. Struggle, especially financial struggle, has been such a huge part of my identity since childhood. It is really hard to release that. I am so happy for you and Leon about your home purchase - congratulations! I look forward to hearing more!
What a wonderful podcast, Skylar! Congratulations on buying your house! So excited for you! However, I know exactly what you mean about not feeling like you thought you would at this time -- I've been there, too. Maybe not exactly in connection with buying a home, but in connection with other things. "Deferring our joy." Yes. I've done that. I'll be happy when...and the "when" doesn't seem to ever come. Or it comes, and I feel let down or not as joyful as I thought I would. Part of my shopping problem is that I buy for my future self, not the self I am currently. I buy things for this person that doesn't exist yet, but might in the future, the future I imagine. For instance, I buy tons of craft projects, even though right now, I have no time for them, thinking that future me will have time for them and future me is a creative person. And, wow! The age thing is so spot on! Especially in connection with children -- I thought that by the time I had a child, I would have things figured out. No way! He's smarter than me at 13! At 48, I am still figuring it out! (Then, again, I remember being smarter than my mother at 12, too, but I haven't been that smart since...LOL.). Yes, trust the timing of your life. And know that you don't have to rush. "No feeling is final." Such goodness there! It's YOUR home now. Congratulations!
I related so much to this... you've articulated so beautifully the "fallacy of arrival" that trips so many of us up when we're going through these enormous life transitions. Buying our first house and moving upstate from NYC made me so anxious... if I could have only let go of my perfectionism and fear and just marveled that we were even able to make it happen at all!! 😂 Instead, I was awash with anxiety about this new life... My incessant decorating and wallpaper stripping took on this almost aggressive tone... Lol. I had worked for Martha Stewart... Good God, I was such a basket case. Lesson learned. I hope you can stay curious and comfortable with the topsy turviness of things and enjoy every second of inhabiting at your new home, even if it comes with a few unexpected things, as most homes do, along the way. xo